Every-day we see and hear abt our young, mostly black brothers passing on leaving behind very young and beautiful widows and young children in deep pain and confusion.
Surely this cannot be the hand of our gud Lord. It definitely cannot be the purpose our gud Lord had had in mind for these young black graduates.
Could it be due to the lifestyles we choose esp us married men?
Could it be becoz of the power of the peopl we associate ourselves with (Power of association)?
The lifestyles we choose in our marriages always tend to be worse than the lifestyles lived by single young men.
It is the kind of lifestyles that begin to question our understanding of the expectations as husbands and fathers,from the biblical perpspective.
It has becum a very cool and in-thing for us married men to subject our young beautiful wives to living very emotionally-empty lives. Lives characterised by pain, confusion, doubts, anxiety, anger, sleepless nights etc.
All these due to us married men living a single life in the marriage.
We seem to simply ignore the fact tht when we made the covenant with our wives we were saying “my time is yoz and yo time is mine”
This confusion on us marriend men is displayed by begining to live for friends instead of living for our wives.
This is seen when our wives and kids begin to accept tht Friday nights, Sat nights and Sundays are not their times with their husbands or fathers.
We leave our homes immediately after work on Frdy only to return in the early hours of the morning. Reason being tht we hv bn wrking hard the whole week.
Saturday afternoons hv becum time again with our valued friends and only hit our beds in the early hours of Sun.
Sundays are days we cannot miss taking our beautiful German sedans for tht sparkling car wash, so we live our homes saying the car wash is where we shud be.
Our wives have even stopped complaining bcoz talking has only resulted in weeks of not talking together in the house.
It has bcum a norm to hv open affairs and even compete abt who has a more hotter chick than the other amongst us.
We compete abt who buys the most expensive whiskeys. We even set a stndard tht as a grp we dnt drink anythng falling short of 18years old.
We challenge our car engines and looks etc.
This is done to ensure we belong. We belong and get respected everytime we are amongst each other at the car wash or shisa nyamas.
Question is, do the wives and kids we leave behind to satisfy our frnds feel the same abt us?
Are we being regardes as heroes by the ppl we are supposed to protect and defend i.e. our wives and kids?
On a daily basis we hear of tragic accidents tht result in our beautiful and young wives losing their husbands and immediately graduating to a widow status (if being a widow is a graduation)
We often die untimely deaths due to diseases we cud hv avoided but because we had to comply to the standards setup by our associations, we found ourselves having multiple affairs. Sumtyms we get involved with wrong women who are involved with bad characters who will nt think twice before using their guns on us.
Everytime we sit at local pubs,taverns etc until the next day, we run a risk of being attacked for whatever reason, arrest due to drunken driving, accident due to excessive alcohol consumption etc.
All these directly impact on the ones we leave behind at our homes.
Providing cars, homes and other material stuff for our families has made us beliv our wives are sorted. We missing the emotional part they have given up on bcoz of us neglecting their cries.
A friend passed away in 2015 leaving behind a young widow and 2 kids through 5 gun shots pumped into his body whilst hi wife nd kids were sleeping at home in Brackenfell.
He had driven his BMW to drop off his galfrnd somewhere in Nyanga after a gud night at one of the hotspots in guguletu.
As they were stil siting in the car outside the galfrnds home at 02:30AM, a knock on the window made him roll down his window and the next thing 5 bulets were pumped into his drunk body.
His wife woke up wih a very heavy heart on the Sun morning and pushed herslf to prepare for church with her 2 young kids. She ws not aware tht at tht stage she was already a widow.
As she walked out of the church she heard sum of the congregants talking abt a man found dead in Nyanga.
Not knowing tht was her husband she drove home with a very painful heart as her husband had not slept at home AGAIN.
It was only whn she gt home and found the Police waiting for her tht she learnt her husband was no more. Her kids had no father and she was a widow.
For how long must ths continue for us to learn.
God save the world but men first..
God, make us begin to live lives of significance, lives of your purpose and positive influence.